Year in the life of just another person .......

It was last year I wrote last on my blog! Time goes by! Fast! First of all apologies to all those few people who read my blog and fewer people who wait for me to write frequently! Last year was hectic! I mean it! Maybe I was not occupied but I enjoy my own lazy time so much that it had resulted in such levels of lethargy that reaching for my phone when it rings is near enough an impossibility. The last year has been very different. It has been like every other year in my life which have no relation what so ever to each other. It always feels like I am born and I die at the end of the year and then again born on the day of the new year!
So the year that went by :-

1)   
I have put on a million more pounds! Now if you are going to say that I don’t use kilos anymore and I am not anymore Indian and I behave like an Englishman, I simply don’t care! The scale I use is in pounds and it’s not my choice and I feel bad for the poor thing.  It accelerates from 0 - ~ in such speed that sometimes I think its psychic! It knows my weight and tries to display it even before I am fully on it! Well to be honest I am exaggerating. I am roughly around the same I was when you guys saw me last. Now it’s for you to work out when that was and how slim was I! Maybe slim is not the right word there!

2)   
I have made many many friends and lost very few. And honestly if you are one among the ones I have lost, again I simply don’t care. There would have been good reason for it and sorry but it’s your fault. I am not saying I am any prize catch but I am better off without you! At this moment I would especially like to tell Simon and Claire that it’s the best joy in the world to live with them. Thanks guys!  We do a lot of things together most of it which is technically pointless but we have the best time in the world together! We are the same loonies who went shopping for suits at 2 AM! And Claire honestly there is a ‘poltergeist’ under your bed! Simon, stop breaking things round the house! And Claire I might be brown but I am not an idiot that you explain to me what a greeting card is! I love you both!

3)   
I have developed no new hobbies/interests/whatever you call it at all. I just can’t be asked to. I breathe in and sometimes breathe out. That’s about it. No more. Possibly less. Yes. And then I did not live up to any of the resolutions I made last year. Not that I did not want you I simply forgot what they were. I think it was to be careless and enjoy life and its cheap thrills to the very raw epicentre of it! If that was what the resolution was then I have done really well. I even shopped at a supermarket and did not have to walk! Yes I was in a mobility scooter. And I did not even have to queue! Life does not get better that sitting on your bottom when buying a truckload of chips!

4)   
I have not been in any form of physical fights, not done any variant of any drug, not been arrested of course by police (would never mind if it was a pretty girl in fetish uniform!), no near death experiences, no serious verbal war, not fought in Iraq or in Afghanistan, not done anything which people say is the true form of adrenaline and high. Well guys I am not any superhero nor a repeat convict. What I am is a simple man which most of us can’t even accept unfortunately as ‘being a man’ is definitely one of the most misunderstood lines of my generation. I would like to be in the army and go to war but you see I have flat feet which is a straight disqualification. That is proof that god made me anatomically to be relaxing all the time. And I do it true to its meaning!

5)   
Bought my first TV. For a fiver! I know it’s no million inch wide, billion pixels deep nor is it unreal definition! But my old banger just does the job it was built for. It makes me go to sleep every night and a peaceful sleep every night for £5! Now beat that Mr. HD LED! I also bought my own new laptop. Now this on the other hand was a bit expensive but nowhere close to what you ignorant numbnuts would pay! I got it at a fraction of a cost and was a real good hustle and it has a specification which will make gaming desktops look like typewriters! It is so capable that I can play Need for Speed Shift on full graphics setting! Yes, I do play games on my computer still. No, I did not buy the game but I downloaded it from someone who had with consent and if you want to since brand me a ‘Pirate’ then so be it!


6)   
I miss my parents and my brother more than I did in 2007! It has been quite a long time since I saw them. Thank god for technology! Otherwise they would have just pronounced me dead and carried on! Maybe they would have got another dog or something to fill the void! It would have been very awkward when I would finally get home! No, not for me of course for the new dog! And knowing my mum if she had to make a decision then I would leave before she announces it as I know very well it won’t be me! I know she loves me to bits but I definitely don’t have a tail nor do I bark!  Me and dad both agree that it would be rather nice to be a dog to my mum than husband/son! Bless her! One true animal lover! And if my brother is reading this he needs to stop messing with my parents computer and making the mike/web-cam/speakers not work! Period!

7)   
I have had more than my share of embarrassing moments as usual again! For some reason my friends here think I can’t pronounce the letter ‘V’. That comes as a surprise to me as I have been studying English, Sanskrit and Kannada all my life and these languages are more of tongue twisters and I thought I could pronounce anything or any sound! And they make fun of it so much that I have nearly stopped using the letter and have replaced it with ‘B’.  And now they think I have ‘Dysprosody’! I know even I can’t correctly spell this out so Wikipedia is always there to help! I am not making it up though, but surprisingly my computer also thinks I am typing some random stuff!

It has been another successful year in many different terms and I have as usual had a  great time! I have been in touch with so many of you and have been busy many a times. Truly though there is never a day that I don’t recognise how better my world is because of all of your presence. Thank you ever so much everyone and I hope you all have another great year ahead. Remember if you ever need anything which I can do don’t even think of getting in touch! I always am knee deep in trouble but in a good way.  I may be 25 now but I will never behave!

So you all have a good 2010 and as most of us have heard that means we have just 2 more years to go before the world ends in 2012! And I have read about people who have made millions with such kind of elaborate farce! Because the Mayans said so! Mayans my arse!

Oh for crying out loud!