The African Diaries - Part 1

The flight from Heathrow felt like eternity. I suddenly started to think if I had made the right hasty decision of leaving a place which for 3 years had been home. I left everything behind. Friends, family, colleagues, house share, pot noodles, crisps, high speed internet, everything. And there I was on a plane to a whole new continent, I would rather say a whole new world. The flight was lousy, so was the seating, so was the food. I finally touched down at Jomo Kenyatta airport in Nairobi.

My next flight was in 1 hour to Lusaka, Zambia. I got out and joined a never seen before length of queue only to find out that my flight was cancelled. I stood in that same queue for nearly 5 hours while the whole world was busy watching the Fifa finals, Silverstone F1 and another new episode of Top Gear! I was finally given a transit visa and was also provided accommodation. I walked out of the airport to get on a bus. Make no mistake this is Africa. It was no bus! It looked like a small van which had a carriage taped onto it. I got in and I had to sit on the engine cover next to the driver and was also assigned the duty of making sure the all the luggage remained still so the driver could concentrate on what he was meant to do – somehow make that thing run and take us to our respective hotels. Looking at the bus I was not looking forward to the hotel. We then travelled through huge roads (being in uk for 3 years my perception of size had diminished). We then stopped on the road side and the driver asked a couple of people to get down and place some planks of wood which were suspiciously tied to the side of the bus on something which looked to me like a ditch! As we slowly treaded on those planks I was even finding it hard to remember prayers in my state of profuse panic! I am no Drogba! My physical attributes are only good enough to take a 1 ft fall, let us say on to a fluffy bed! But we made it across and then we entered a gate after around ten minutes of driving through no road.

And suddenly I see this massive hotel which looked absolutely inviting. I walked through the 5 star luxuries and then went into my room to only realize that my image of Africa was terribly wrong. The hotel was so magnificent and equipped that I even had a choice of Bible, Quran or Gita in my draw! And an electronic safe in every room! I then walked down to the bar and this is at 4 AM, had a couple of well deserved cold beers watching the highlights of football enjoying this suddenly changed perception of a place which had already become my new found home. I only had time for a hot shower and had to leave to the airport again for my flight to Lusaka. When I looked out of my window at dawn I saw the African outback, vast plains with absolutely nothing but a couple of trees I knew it was the right decision. All my younger years had watched numerous programs with such a background and here I was in it!

After being awe struck for some time I finally got to the airport and I don’t know if I had grown a dark stubble but the security guards must have mistaken me for Osama! I was searched within an inch of my dignity before being allowed to check in. I then boarded the flight and the pilot’s welcome speech started which sounded more like a sick note! Actually that’s what it was and he was not feeling very well so just decided to call it a day and we were stranded inside the plane for a whopping 3 hours before they could find someone who could be bothered enough to oblige to fly. I still suspect that it was one of the cabin crew and not a pilot as the people who had greeted me in were never to be found again! Strange! The flight was quite short and then we touched down. Lusaka, Zambia! Finally, home, for the foreseeable future. Kenya to be missed for the weird, short and absolutely stunning time. People always asked me why Africa of all the possible places?

Oh for crying out loud!